Drowning My Sex Drive using self help books

I sit in a café and open a book ‘teaching about love’ written by a monk.

I like what I read, its right and true. But slowly I fall asleep.

Its not that everything I read should be about how to position the D in the V, in order to be stimulated. It is that to offer myself a reframing of other people’s words.

Even if they are master healers, famous monks, bestselling authors or Billionaires. And even if they come up with the smartest things. I want to break my puppy eyes longing towards those books, I want to break my longing to be saved. And to shift that gaze for an answer internally.

The same happens to me with too many affirmations. Or too much talk about how perfect Atlantis was.

I think I am healing. But I am gathering more information that I may foregt.

I search and search for that piece of content that will make something in me click.

But I look in the wrong places.

Tucking my anger in, covering it with books on self love, made me want to sleep all day.

The thing is… sex is connected to anger. To raw expression.

Its not that I don’t believe I can be in a good mood, zen mind and sexual at the same time, but when I have a list of unadressed anger items and instead on working on those, I recite self love affirmations- I also wave bye bye to my wetness and sexual urge,

Sex loves bringing all of ourselves without hiding or judgement to the table.

A bleeding pussy on her period,a desire to have sex even when we didn’t loose the weight or earn the millions.

There is nothing wrong with loving ourselves and affirmation work-

Just. Please. Always check in with your sex voice. Is it slowly drowning until it’s unheard?

If so, modify. Ask. Bring your anger to the surface. You daily baggage that wants to transmute.

The feeling is not only light. But light and ready to go.